Week Eleven: Twitter (Preview)

Published Sunday, June 10, 2012 by Chasing Neptune

As I type this, I am 105% sure that I have lost the majority of my self-respect. Let me explain.

As stated in my last post, I feel rather lame about skipping out on The Roaring Twenties challenges for so many weeks. Therefore, I thought to myself, “Self, what are the two worst things that we could do?” To which I replied, “Exercise and join Twitter.” Well, I exercised, so now it’s time to Tweet.

Let me explain further. And if you need to hate me in order to validate your own self-worth, go ahead. I’m happy to do that for you.

I understand that Twitter has benefits. You can “communicate” and “network” with people. You can see what your favorite musician, author, actor, other celebrity-person, and friends are doing at all times. So, for stalkers, it is the ultimate tool. Also, it provides you an avenue by which to be stalked and put your thoughts out there into the cyber world. I suppose that aspect is a bit like blogging: you send ideas out there into space and hope that they become little bugs on some spaceship’s windshield.

For this aspect, I am a hypocrite, as I use my blog to put my thoughts on the internet, arrogantly assuming that someone will find them interesting. So, I can understand the motivation here.

However, when it comes right down to it, I mentally cannot comprehend the point of Twitter. Seriously, I believe that it is one of the most pointless social-networking sites ever created. I cannot even properly articulate how ridiculous I find it. You sit there, “Tweet-ing” every little thing that happens to you throughout the day. Oh, I just took a swig of Mountain Dew #nectarofthegods. WHO CARES? Seriously, I don’t care. I guarantee most of your “followers” don’t care. And if I had to guess, I would even say that most of your friends don’t care. So why tell everyone?

Now, again, I realize that I am a hypocrite. After all, I write these blog entries, bashing Twitter, handing out exercise advice that I am not at all qualified to give, and describing my poetry — and I expect that someone, somewhere will read it. Yes, my blogging is vain and follows the self-obsessed trend of my generation. Here’s the difference: at least with blogging, you have the space to properly articulate your thoughts, and most of the time, blogging is used as an avenue for art (poetry, literature, photography). I don’t care how you try to spin it: unless your Twitter account is advertisement for your business or all you post is (what’s the lingo here?) “Twit photos” or Lockerz photos or something like that, all you are doing is pointlessly documenting your every move and making shout-outs to celebrities, companies, and strangers that probably don’t give a damn about what you ate for breakfast.

Call me a hypocrite. Call me a misanthrope. Call me technologically-inept. Whatever you want.

My point is this: I feel like the majority of “Tweeters” only use Twitter as a way to satisfy their self-obsession, craft vain self-identities, and validate their self-worth, based on the number of Followers and Re-Tweets they can acquire. To me, all of this should come from real human interaction and doing something artistic or productive off-line, but hey, what do I know?

Long story short, I have created a Twitter account, and for one week, I am going to “Tweet” and “Follow” people and see what this whole stupid craze is all about.

If you would like to take part in my self-loathing and complete loss of self-respect as I abandon my Twitter-non-conformist values, feel free to “Follow Me” @KateNeptune.


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