How to Love the Ocean – Revised

Published Thursday, May 3, 2012 by Chasing Neptune

This is the last of my poem revisions. For the first two, check out Be Careful What You Wish For and Who Saw Doves.

As the original post suggests, this is my favorite poem I have written (for several reasons, none of which I shall share). Enjoy!

***

How to Love the Ocean

Do not dive.

Plunge feet-first and kick

the undertow. Crumble

sea shells into dust. Shatter

glass into sand.

Inhale salt, wind,

mist. Slide your fingers over

fish tails, and do not trust

blue eyes.

Worship the night sky: stars

and sails and wisps of smoke. Hunt

creatures in the deep. When their

scales brush your skin, whisper

                                    I will fear no evil.

***

As with the last two revisions, do not be afraid to provide feedback, positive or negative! I cannot grow as a writer without a little critique every now and then!

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7 comments on “How to Love the Ocean – Revised

  • I really do love this piece, but I’m partial to the original. This version sounds a bit more polished, which normally I’m all for, but I think I prefer the rawness of version 1.0. But that’s probably because I know you and know the history.

    • I definitely understand what you’re saying. I like both versions, but I think I like the images in this one better, especially since I worked so god damn hard to make that third command work. I think it’s been four or five different commands since I wrote the very first version.

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