Xena, Warrior Princess

Published Thursday, April 19, 2012 by Chasing Neptune

This is a “short” that I wrote for my Creative Nonfiction course earlier this semester. The theme was “game,” and I selected dressing up as Xena, because living in or creating my own fantasy world has always been my favorite game to play. I mean, seriously, what little girl wouldn’t want to dress up as a warrior princess with a sword, chakram, and beautiful white horse and rescue the prince?

Xena, Warrior Princess

I am a warrior.

I suit up, teddy bear pajamas covering my torso, red cowgirl boots protecting my feet, and candy bracelets wrapping around my biceps. I cut out the middle of a paper plate, creating a large circle, and wrap it in aluminum foil. This is my chakram, the signature weapon of the warrior princess, and I tie it to my waist with yarn. I grab Jelly Bean, my magnificently white, stick-horse steed. I am ready.

I gallop into the living room for my nightly lesson. As my dad turns on Sci-Fi Channel, Lucy Lawless appears on the screen. Dressed as Xena, Warrior Princess, Lucy and I twirl our swords, throw our chakram, and unleash the battle cry, Aye-yi-yi-yi! When the show ends, I am ready to save my homeland.

Racing across the living room, Jelly Bean and I leap in front of Patty, my Chihuahua, shielding her from the Cyclops that lurks in the hallway. With one flick of my sword, I defeat him. Next, we dash outside to protect the trampoline fortress, which has been overrun by Vikings. I fling my chakram, which sails through the air, its sharp edges easily beheading them all. At my mother’s call, Jelly Bean and I ride back into the house. It, too, is overrun, so before I reach the safety of my room, I must slay goblins and savages and beasts.

When all of my enemies have been vanquished, I collapse onto my bed. Despite the adrenaline of battle, my eyes close within seconds. I sleep soundly, knowing that my home is safe, thanks to me: Kate, Warrior Princess.


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